笨细菌 says:
cheh..oso duno whether i can communicate there
according to my swinging mood
shengcui says:
haha
erm. u need to control ur emotions
笨细菌 says:
hard..so just let them spill all over the place
shengcui says:
as u grow elder u will learn it
control will come more easily to u
笨细菌 says:
they swing frequently..this minute happy that minute angry already
shengcui says:
why?
have u investigate?
there is always a reason
笨细菌 says:
surroundings
they provoke vivid emotions in me
shengcui says:
erm. possibly. but i think a better answer is in yourself
like why do you let ur surroundings influence u so much?
笨细菌 says:
duno..they just evoke those feelings
but normally i don't show
shengcui says:
that's the question u need to learn to ask
笨细菌 says:
huh?
shengcui says:
u cannot let ur mood swings as it wants
learn to control it
power without control is like beauty without grace
u will be a very beautiful lady when u can control ur emotions.
not only controlling it from expressing.....but controlling in terms of changing ur mood
笨细菌 says:
sometimes my decision changed because my ming is overwhelmed by my feelings..making wrong decisions in the end
*mind
shengcui says:
yes/
yes.
reently i am learning how to control emotions to enhance thinking.
there are certain mood (not anger, not happy... but a strange one) that leads to heightened awareness
u can try to control emotions that way too
笨细菌 says:
strange one?
like how?
shengcui says:
its very hard to describe
i learnt it through meditation
笨细菌 says:
since when you start taking meditation?
shengcui says:
when i was drawing
with R Loke
Mr. Loke
笨细菌 says:
i only know when i have contrast feelings and when it is hard to wrestle it down..i talk alot to my partner..><
how is he recently
and you back from s'pore?
shengcui says:
i'm still at singapore
ooooo....ur partner?

笨细菌 says:
sitting beside me in skl
don't think till so complicated
shengcui says:
oooooooo
okay
very misleading word
笨细菌 says:
your brain senget only
mr.loke u gt visit him?
i never draw there jor
shengcui says:
got keep in touch
i still stuck in singapre
笨细菌 says:
why?
shengcui says:
working here
笨细菌 says:
hectic?
shengcui says:
yup
笨细菌 says:
night life
*?
shengcui says:
0
笨细菌 says:
ahaha..that was why my mother don't want to send me to s'pore
she scared i will be stressed
shengcui says:
oh?
hmm, i think wrong concept la
u want to be stressed when u r young
so u can cope better when u face it later in life
笨细菌 says:
being chinese skl student is enough stress already
now at skl i have loads of problems to face
society..exams..friendships..those kind of shit
shengcui says:
erm. its all about controlling emotions
stop looking so much about outside influence
look deep into urself
笨细菌 says:
can you still face people that lied to you
shengcui says:
yes
lie, empty promises are all part and parcel of life
can't keep cutting tppl off
because the result will be, u cutting off urself
the problem of the human mind is, we think ourselves as the centre of universe
not just u, not just me
its the whole society
we think that earth is the centre of the universe
which is not true
we find the sun is the centre of universe which itself maybe orbiting something else
we are just part of the woodworks fora limited time
when u do not see yourself as the centre of the universe.
u will be able to connect to others better.
and u do not take things too seriously
because u will realise that you are just a character of a show.
u have to realise that u might be insignificant to others as others are to you
you have to accept that it is the fact of life.
and what happens when life catch u wrong footed?
u will have to pick yourself up again.
and walk on.
u should not cut ppl off
nor should u be very bothered about it.
the ppl that lied to you.... they can still be acquintances
maybe not friends.
but ppl that you can talk to
maybe not ppl that you can believe
but that makes life much more fun
and make u build friends over time

笨细菌 says:
sometimes i tried to make believe in those who had hurted me in the past
believing that we could build that friendship
again
yet..it seemed to be a forlorn hope
shengcui says:
it is when u start preceiving things
笨细菌 says:
everytime when i make a move..i get disasters
shengcui says:
its just part and parcel., doesn't it?
笨细菌 says:
but sometimes when they push their duties to you and point fingers at you..what should you do?
talking back is not a smart action
shengcui says:
yup
u just need to learn smart
笨细菌 says:
keeping quiet is also not a good option
shengcui says:
mmmm......u will learn this in time
dun have to care about it

笨细菌 says:
i have to face that condition tomorrow
i find that there are many types of friends
one is those who stood by you everytime you fall and encourage you to stand up strong again to face obstacles
one is those who seemed to be your friends but in their little hearts..they want to beat you in all aspects..like results and they follow your moves
one is who function as a laughing gas station..they bring laughther to you but when you feel helpless..you can't find them anywhere
that is why they ssaid
[good friends are like stars,you don't see them but you know they are there]
shengcui says:
hmm.....once upon a time.....
i thought that friends should be loyal to each other
to support eachother and stand by each other through thick and thin
well i guess its half truths
u treat a person as a friend, u will stand by her.
but why do u expect her to stand by u?
is that what you treat a friend?
can u approach someone and say, u r my friend. i expect u to stand by me?
grammatically its not wrong
but it makes no sense
u can only approach somebody and say..hey u know what, i'm your friend. i'll stand by u
this sentence makes complete sense
so, if u want to make friends....
stop asking. start giving.
笨细菌 says:
and in the end of the day
when you sacrifice evrything for them
they run towards another friend and hugged her saying thank you for standing by me
and you with a cold stare
shengcui says:
so what?
so???

笨细菌 says:
i felt dumbstrck!
shengcui says:
its ok
笨细菌 says:
my friend's asthma happened in the middle of the class
i was mad before it happened because she was flirting
then when it happened..i forgot my feelings and went up to her
holding her hand and telling everything eould be all right
*would
in the end
she went to another girl....
nd i was dripping from the inside..not tears but my heart tore apart
sometimes i wonder what i am to them
invinsible or just a bacteria dancing silly in front of them
shengcui says:

think about what i say
i gtg now la
笨细菌 says:
k
bye