Saturday 16/1/2010

the sun beamed through the translucent glass yet the class was as gray as the hard concrete floor..the atmosphere was inactive..the cold air diffused into my blood stream under my naked skin..but as i went near to you the feeling was getting stronger..i was invisible to you..

i was puzzled..when i talked to you..you don't seemed to be aware of my present but when zhuer and yuewen came to you you turn your position to face them..i was raged..可能，正如我所说的一样..你们没有了我一样的可以活下去，就算我转校，走了，你们的日常生活也不会受损~我也不过是一个傀儡，一个代替品，所以我是个玩具，给你们玩够了就乱丢，乱抛..像个足球一样..班费的确是不够，你爱如何生闷气你家的事~我也管不了酱多..你们这种有钱人，当然是不会省钱！什么生意头脑..统统废话！我苦思就是想把班费降到最低的浪费~你们的反应是什么？切~讨厌到死！！恨到透..讲去british council去补英文..还在我的脸前说你去那里玩玩下..diunyahai!!死败类！家里有钱大完？！整个家产给你会变零！fuckhai!!死败类！还有脸笑..脸皮几厚一下..买磨砂纸给你磨脸都不够！这些人不懂谁来的..还有一个bitch在我面前秀英文，简直就没死过~这次英文大考我会给你死到够力够力~那时我要“不小心”把我的考卷跌到你面前~看你什么反应~我很吊~怎样？

算了..看了也等于没看，我没眼睛~我爱type什么就type..不管我的事..因为那惨悲的过去才有现在的我..
my past..that lonesome childhood..who cares？adults used to say if you looked in a child's eyes you are able to see their pain..it was a lie..all lies..because of my parents i managed English well yet behind that glory that was as beautiful as an iceberg..what was underneath?the pain that was intolerable..what do you know about that pain?i was spanked if my paper was less than 90..once..i got 89.5..i was hitted so hard that bruise appeared on my faint skin..this caused the sick memory that still haunted me till this day..my present..

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