Tuesday 20/10/2009

at first i was very happy..it all started this morning when i asked my maths teacher my marks..53 i got and my heart leaped..from 16 to 53...then vivian and the others celebrated my birthday..27/10..7 days earlier i was happy but when school dismissed things changed suddenly..

dad came to fetch me and when i walked at the bus stop pavement i saw the purple Mercedes..i increase my foot step and guess what..i got scolded by my parents..they said i was blind..the police was hesitating them to drive faster and the cars cram together causing minor traffic jam..all of a sudden..things i wanted to share with them vanished..why can these bubbles be easily pricked burst by their mean words..i sulk..

then mom asked my results..i did not want to reply her because i had no mood..she asked me about my maths and i told her the total..66.8 which is 67 and guess what that fucked face said.. conversation
mom: how much is your maths marks?
me: 67..nearly 70
mom: WHAT?!!
dad: you call that 70..69 is only near 70
mom: then add up the small test is how much
me: i already added up
mom: how much is your paper?
me: 53
mom: *****nagged***** i waste so much time and you and you......#%$&^*

seriously i was so so so so hurt that i cried when i reached home..i stormed into the bathroom because my tears won't stop so as i bathe i cried painfully..deep inside something was scratching..so fragile and yet you broke it and now scrap it's wound..DO YOU HAVE A HEART?!! i am already so painful and you still want to dig the every last of me..WHERE THE FUCK YOU PUT YOUR HEART? YOU FED TO THE DOG？ WOW..NICE TRY FUCKED FACE..i did not talk much the whole day only cried..my eyes are swollen..

when i type this i was crying like crazy..all i saw was blurry..went to Kumon and i cried as i do all my corrections and worksheet..tissue was all that surround me..WHAT? YOU THINK I HAD NOT TRY HARD ENOUGH? ARE YOU BLIND? ALL YOU SEE WAS KK AND TIMUN..YOU SEE ME? NO!!! YOU THINK THE MATHS TUITION YOU PAID FOR ME WORKED? FUCK YOURSELF!!I PHOTOSTAT SO MANY SHEETS OF MATHS PAPER AND DID SO MUCH EXERCISE..ALL THE HOMEWORK I DID BY MYSELF AND WHAT YOU SAY？YOU COPIED HOMEWORKS..THE MATHS TUITION DID NOT EVEN TEACHED THE THINGS I WANTED..WHAT CAN I DO? INDEPENDENTLY I HAD TO STAND UP FOR MY OWN STAND TO FIGHT FOR THE MARKS AND YOU SAID IT WAS NOT ENOUGH..SINCE YOU ARE SO CLEVER WHY NOT YOU PUT THE COURAGE TO TAKE THE EXAM FOR ME?YOU IDIOTS!!

i improved and all i want is a praise and so i can continue to fight and what you do?pour cold water on me..my heart race when i hop onto the car to share news with you and what i get? a cold stare..timun told you about her marks and what you said? the same improvement and what you say..face the mirror and say out loud..useless and stupid regardless wishes of mine..i am so so so sad that i can't even eat dinner and what you say..help me clear the dish..WHAT??I QUAH YEE HIAN HAVE TO HELP YOU WHILE I DID NOT EAT!! WHERE IS THE LOGIC?!! all i did all dinner time was maths..DID YOU CARE? no..my heart shivered..yumi called and what you do? YOU YELLED AT ME..you made me cried so many times that i think my tear gland is so active..WHAT/WHERE DID I DID WRONG?TELL ME LAH!!USELESS!!!!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!mother fucking assholes..ass kissers!!!

Labels: fuck all the adults in the world